Beck Risks Life: Calls Urlacher a 'Neo-Nazi', Emeril 'Hugo Chavez'

Turns out Beck is an equal opportunity stereotypist, even including white people in his Nazigasims. Beck was named to TheRoot.com's list of "The Blackest White Folks We Know." Said The Root:

The emotional right-wing talk show was probably the last person on earth we'd put on this list until he discovered that blacks have been all but removed from the history of America's founding, and actually gave a black history lesson on his cable TV show. Yet we suspect we'll have to revoke it after his upcoming rally at the Lincoln Memorial on the "I Have a Dream" speech anniversary.

So what did Beck do? He put photos of the 32 other people named to the list on his "black"board and started to try and identify them. His first fascist smear was to call Emeril Lagasse Hugo Chavez. Then, when he got to Brian Urlacher, he said he was a "Neo-Nazi."

Beck apparently was told Urlacher could do severe bodily harm to him so he actually "apologized" to Urlacher, or as Beck calls him, "U-Lick-Her." Beck says he only made the fascist joke because of Urlacher's white skin and short hair. Oh.....that makes it okay! I guess Emeril got called Hugo Chavez cause he has dark skin and dark hair. Here's the so-called "apology."



I hope Urlacher sees the "apology." If you think he was mad at Gale Sayers, I can only imagine what he'll say about this.

Glenn Beck's Blind Ambition

Call me cynical, but this latest announcement from Glenn Beck reeks of opportunism. Glenn Beck told an audience in Salt Lake City (if you're going to make up a wild story, Mormons are a good audience):

"A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctor because of my eyes, I can't focus my eyes...he did all kinds of tests and he said, 'you have macular dystrophy ...you could go blind in the next year. Or, you might not.' I said, did you just charge me a thousand dollars for knowing what I knew my whole life?"

Just for good measure, Beck threw in some of his patented crocodile tears.

So Beck has set it up so that he can go blind. Or not. According to his doctor, he "might not" go blind. Of course, Beck isn't going to act privately about his health like some other more noble, famous people (see Dean Smith). He's going to go out there and squeeze every inch of sight out of this turnip. Just one more way to reel them in. I know he has some sort of Kool Aid, Doomsday scenario planned. I just hope to God it's not going to occur in front of the Lincoln Memorial.

I'll admit, I shouldn't be so harsh. Perhaps he will turn out like Saul/Paul. God will make him blind only to remove the "crazy" scales from his eyes so that he can become a liberal and lead Democrats to the Promised Land. Plus, if he does go blind, for he and his audience, it will truly be the blind leading the blind.

Glenn Beck: Closet Nazi

Also posted at Daily Kos.

You know how there are always people who are anti-homosexual that are just a little too passionate about going after gays? One always kind of wonders if maybe they aren't so virulent about homosexuality because they, themselves, are in fact gay. Take Ted Haggard, for instance. Or Larry Craig.

Which brings me to Glenn Beck. No, I don't think he's a closet homosexual. I think he's a closet Nazi. Consider the evidence:

1. Beck has tied everything known to man, that he disagrees with, to the Nazi regime.

2. He's out there saying everyone's a fascist, that Obama is marching us towards Fascism.

3. He says big government, the federal government, is just like Nazi Germany and is therefore bad. In fact, he said:

The Nazis and Communists both like giant government with tons of regulation. It gave them the power to do what they did. Because no one could be rounded up by an oppressive federal government if it didn’t have massive regulation and agencies and framework to do it.

So he could just hate the Nazis. I mean, "Nazis. I hate these guys", right? But consider the evidence that maybe, perhaps, Beck secretly is a Nazi.

1. He's always pushing gold, selling gold. "Nazi gold," anyone?

2. He likes to promote authors who attended Nazi party meetings in Germany during the Third Reich, the same author who visited Palestine declaring the Jews were ruining the Holy Land.

3. He blames the Jews, rather emphatically, for the crucifixion of Christ (check out the video of his anger HERE).

4. He uses iconic civil rights icons for personal, political gain. See Hitler, Jesse Owens.

5. He comes from a religion that sometimes emphasizes the beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed people.

If it looks like a Nazi, and it quacks like a Nazi, it must be a Nazi.

Glenn Beck "University" Course Offerings

Seriously. He is really offering a "college" for those of you who haven't had enough insanity in your life. You don't get any credit, and there's no degree.  I'm sure you'll get some sort of plaque or maybe a ticket to his revival on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in August. It kind of feels like an indoctrination program ahead of his big rally since most of the classes are before the rally.... But that would be too much like Nazi Germany and we all know Beck (as in the German sounding Beck) hates all things German. By the way, my favorite joke from the Simpsons was when Krusty the Clown found out he was Jewish. He said, "I always thought I was anti-Semitic. Turns out, I just hate myself." Kind of like our pal Beck's overkill hatred for Germans.

Anyway, here's the honest to God real course list (with who I think should teach the class) from Beck University:

Faith 101 (taught by the resurrected Christ)
Hope 101 (taught by Obama)
Charity 101 (taught by the resurrected Christ)

He also offers Faith 102, 103 and Hope 102, 103 and Charity 102, 103. I also found the secret course list for those "in the know":

Blubbering 101: Learn to cry on demand from some of the best in the business. Joey from "Friends" will teach you how to do it, and we will review videos of Mr. Beck crying at various important patriotic events of his own creating.

History 101: Rewrite what the founding fathers believed to suit any purpose or agenda you may have. An actual background and adherence to their life's work is not necessary. (Heavy background in Mormonism needed).

Western Civ: We teach the world now learn our philosophy. None of that soccer bullshit east Asian South American Russian culture sounding philosophy in this class! Just good old fashioned American values and philosophy including the present day Tea Party philosophy.

Religion 101: We didn't learn from Jesus. Jesus learns from us! Learn to apply charity the right way, with handouts only to those deserving of reward. We will learn to only be empathetic and forgiving of people like Mr. Beck who've recovered from their drug abuse and horrible past. In other words, white males.

Truth 101: Not available this semester.