Seriously. He is really offering a "college" for those of you who haven't had enough insanity in your life. You don't get any credit, and there's no degree. I'm sure you'll get some sort of plaque or maybe a ticket to his revival on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in August. It kind of feels like an indoctrination program ahead of his big rally since most of the classes are before the rally.... But that would be too much like Nazi Germany and we all know Beck (as in the German sounding Beck) hates all things German. By the way, my favorite joke from the Simpsons was when Krusty the Clown found out he was Jewish. He said, "I always thought I was anti-Semitic. Turns out, I just hate myself." Kind of like our pal Beck's overkill hatred for Germans.
Anyway, here's the honest to God real course list (with who I think should teach the class) from Beck University:
Faith 101 (taught by the resurrected Christ)
Hope 101 (taught by Obama)
Charity 101 (taught by the resurrected Christ)
He also offers Faith 102, 103 and Hope 102, 103 and Charity 102, 103. I also found the secret course list for those "in the know":
Blubbering 101: Learn to cry on demand from some of the best in the business. Joey from "Friends" will teach you how to do it, and we will review videos of Mr. Beck crying at various important patriotic events of his own creating.
History 101: Rewrite what the founding fathers believed to suit any purpose or agenda you may have. An actual background and adherence to their life's work is not necessary. (Heavy background in Mormonism needed).
Western Civ: We teach the world now learn our philosophy. None of that soccer bullshit east Asian South American Russian culture sounding philosophy in this class! Just good old fashioned American values and philosophy including the present day Tea Party philosophy.
Religion 101: We didn't learn from Jesus. Jesus learns from us! Learn to apply charity the right way, with handouts only to those deserving of reward. We will learn to only be empathetic and forgiving of people like Mr. Beck who've recovered from their drug abuse and horrible past. In other words, white males.
Truth 101: Not available this semester.
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